So Close and Yet

still feeling so far away.

When we passed court on January 18, we were told that it would take 1-3 weeks to gather all of our post-court paperwork and submit our file to the embassy. Our agency can only submit files to the embassy on Wednesdays, so we were (unrealistically!) hopeful for the best case scenario of January 24. This date came and went without any news and we were told that they fully anticipated our file to be ready on the following Wednesday, February 2.

I woke up on the morning of February 2 with all the anticipation and excitement of Christmas morning! I couldn't wait to hear that we had been submitted to the embassy. I stalked my e-mail all morning. And finally when I couldn't stand the waiting any longer, I e-mailed our adoption agency. Unfortunately, our file still wasn't ready. We were apparently missing one signature. The Ministry of Women's and Children's Affairs (MOWA) needs to sign off on all of our post-court paperwork, and it hadn't been done yet. I was just crushed.

I miss our son desperately. My heart aches for him to be home with us. I want nothing more than to hop on that plane and go get him. I cried for him. I cried for me. I cried for the frustration of this whole situation.

The very next day we received an e-mail from our agency that said that MOWA had decided to close for a week in order to relocate all of their files (yikes!!) and that our file would most likely still not be ready on the next Wednesday, February 9. That news was just about more than my heart could take. I fought with some serious discouragement and disappointment this day.

In my logical head, I know that God's got this, and I'm just along for the ride. This is all in His timing and His plan, and we have chosen to simply take His hand and follow along. It doesn't mean that its easy, though. We are waiting on Him with the full trust that His ways are best, even when they aren't our ways. Waiting on Him means that I am not in control and that is a hard lesson that God's been teaching me throughout this journey. I am trying to find strength and patience in this time of waiting, and trying to do it gracefully. But it hurts. I long, I ache, I am desperate for our son. Its time for him to be home.

We are praying for a miracle this week... that our file will be ready to be submitted this Wednesday, February 9. Will you join us in praying? And if our file isn't ready, and we have to wait another week, I pray that we will do it praising Him along the way.